


LongTime Coming

by NeonMidnightMod



Category: wrestling - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-21
Updated: 2009-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-02 13:12:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonMidnightMod/pseuds/NeonMidnightMod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NC-17; m/m, language.</p><p>The fic that started it all. A visit from an old friend brings back feelings Shawn thought were forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	LongTime Coming

**Author's Note:**

> Maintainer note: the author of this story is Nishia, fic originally archived with permission at Neon Midnight (geocities.com/dedicatedtotherockers)

by Nishia

 

DEDICATION: To the lovely Guenhwyvar whose feedback inspired me. Happy birthday sweetie.

AUTHORS NOTE: I read somewhere, a long time ago, that Marty left the WWF under a cloud due to substance abuse problems. I have no idea if that is actually true or not and I haven't heard it anywhere else since, but it fitted with how I wanted the story to work. If it's not true, well tough, this is fiction after all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: To Fay, my beta. Thanks for everything.

 

"NO! HBK IS DOWN!!!" The panicked voice of Jim Ross announced to the gasping pay-per-view crowd. "Oh my God! Naitch has a damn steel chair. Somebody stop him. Where the Hell is the ref?"

"The ref is down too JR. Michaels hit him with the 'sweet chin music' and…"

"That was an accident King. He was aiming for flair."

Flair, was currently strutting round the ring with the chair held high above his head, growling at the fans who were chanting…

"NAITCH SUCKS!"

Activity at the top of the ramp caught someone's eye, hushed whispers rippled throughout the first few rows, then the curtains opened and the whole arena suddenly erupted into a fit of cheers and whoops.

"What the…Oh my God. That looks like…"

"It is JR. It's Marty Jannetty. Woo hoo!"

As Marty ran down the ramp, the cheers grew louder, Flair stopped his ridiculous posturing, and Shawn stood stunned and in silence, in the centre of the ring, watching, while his former tag team partner climbed between the ropes and back into his life.

The whole rest of the building seemed to fade into oblivion for him then. All he saw was Marty, snatching the chair from Ric's hand and throwing it out of the ring, kicking the older man to the ground and pummelling him into the matt.

He heard nothing. Not Jerry or Jim's excited commentary, not the roar of the crowd, and not the second set of footsteps that clattered noisily down the ramp. He didn't even feel the matt vibrate as a fourth man leapt in to join the fight , or feel the rush of cool air caused by the chair being swung at his skull.

* * *

When Shawn came round, he was laying on the physio table at the back of the locker room. Groaning loudly, he threw one arm over his eyes to shield them from the harsh light.

"What the Hell happened?" He grumbled.

"You forgot to move out of the way." It was Paul, speaking. "What went wrong Shawn? We must've practised that a hundred times."

The older man removed his arm from his eyes and brought it to his side, staring up at his friend with a frown.

"You hit me with a chair."

"Yeah. But you were supposed to turn around just in time to kick it back into my face. What happened?"

Shawn groaned again, and tried to sit up, but it made his head hurt so he lay back down and closed his eyes.

"I don't know." He said, becoming aware of some movement somewhere to one side but not really feeling inclined to turn his head and look. "I think I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm starting to hallucinate."

Thankful that their friend wasn't looking at them, Paul and Ric exchanged a silent but guilty look, then Ric was at Shawn's side, holding a cup of water and two capsules that Shawn presumed to be painkillers.

"Here." He said, offering both items to the younger man. "Take these." Shawn took the pills and popped them in his mouth while the white haired man slipped an arm round his shoulder and helped him up to sitting. He held the cup to Shawn's lips, tilting it so that Shawn could drink and shawn swallowed the pills down.

"Hallucinating?" Paul asked, feigning innocence.

"Yeah. For a minute out there, I was sure I saw…"

"Me?"

Headache forgotten, Shawn swung his legs off the edge of the table and slid off, turning towards the familiar voice. For the second time that evening, the blond was momentarily struck dumb by the sight of his former tag team partner, staring fixedly at the other man as he slowly moved forward. When Marty stood no more than a foot away, Shawn finally found his voice.

"You're supposed to be Kevin." He stated. All the scripts had him and Kev going up against Paul and Ric in various combinations and whenever they had rehearsed, Kev had been the one to wrestle the chair away from Ric.

"It's good to see you too Shawnie." Marty smiled. Shawn didn't.

"What…" He shot an angry gaze at the other two men. "You knew. Kev too. You all knew and you didn't tell me." He accused, feeling somewhere between furious and embarrassed. Paul opened his mouth to apologise but Marty interrupted.

"Don't be mad at them Shawn. I asked them not to say anything. I wanted to surprise you."

"You sure did that alright. Fuck! My head hurts."

Gingerly, he climbed back onto the table, and with his elbows balanced on his knees, rested his head in his hands.

While Shawn tried to make sense of what was going on in his head, and the myriad of long forgotten emotions that Marty's presence had caused in him, Marty spoke to the other two men, thanking them for their help and telling them he'd take it from here. A couple of minutes later, they left, leaving Shawn and Marty alone.

"Are you okay?" The brunette asked, coming and sitting beside his friend.

"I've been better but…" He looked up, noticing for the first time how good Marty actually looked. He'd put on a little weight since Shawn had last seen him, muscle not fat, his blue eyes, though they had a few more wrinkles round them than they had done, sparkled brightly and his hair was a little shorter, the split ends now gone. Seeing how healthy he looked now, compared to ten years ago, it was hard to believe it was the same man. "It IS good to see you." Marty smiled. "But I don't understand why you're here."

"I wanted to see you."

"You couldn't call first?"

"Didn't think you'd wanna see me. Last time we spoke I said some pretty awful things."

Shawn remembered. Marty had been jealous of his success, accusing him of wanting to get rid of him, which couldn't have been further from the truth, so he could have all the fame an the money for himself.

"You were an asshole."

Marty gave a small laugh.

"I'm sorry. I was drinking a lot back then, snorting coke too and, well, you already know all that. I just wanted you to know that I'm clean now, and sober."

"Really?" That explained the healthy appearance. "You mean that?" Marty's addictions had been part of the reason their friendship had ended so badly, and Shawn had never been able to rid himself of the nagging suspicion that he was, in some way, responsible for them. Even now, after all this time, he still blamed himself. Maybe, if he'd been a better friend, maybe if he hadn't felt the way he did…He shook his head, he wasn't going to go there.

"Yeah. I mean it. I've got 10 months, nearly eleven and I feel better than I have done in a long time."

Shawn beamed at him. He was so proud of his friend. He'd watched Brian go through the same thing a few years ago and he knew it couldn't have been easy. Somehow he was able to resist the urge to pull the other man into a fierce bear hug.

Marty couldn't help but swell with emotion at Shawn's obvious pleasure. He hadn't realised until now, just how much the other man's opinion meant to him, but now that he knew, now that he had Shawn's respect and pride, he was on a high, greater than the drink or the drugs had ever given him.

The blonds mood changed then, his eyes darkened, he dropped his gaze and in a small voice, he asked…

"What happened to us Marty? We used to be best friends then something changed. What did I do?"

Marty's heart wrenched at the sadness in the other man's voice and the look in his eyes made his knees week. Had Shawn blamed himself all this time? Marty thought he probably had, that was just like Shawn

"What makes you think it was your fault?" He asked, unable to tell him he hadn't done anything, because the truth was, he had. Unintentionally of course, but that hadn't made it any easier on Marty. Just by being himself, wild and crazy and brilliant and utterly gorgeous, Shawn had driven him mad with desire, bringing all of his long suppressed homosexual urges to the surface. While a small part of him had hated Shawn for that, twelve years ago Marty had also fallen in love with him, and unable to reconcile being gay with being a professional wrestler, he had turned to drink and drugs.

"You just stopped hanging out, you didn't talk anymore and every time I tried to talk to you, you blew me off, after a while you started avoiding me altogether and…"

"I'm gay." Marty blurted, needing Shawn to stop.

"What?"

"I'm gay." He hadn't been intending to tell Shawn that, but he felt so guilty at the way he had treated his friend back then that he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. He wanted Shawn to understand why he had behaved the way he had, and though he couldn't tell him the whole truth, he could tell him most of it. "I couldn't deal with it back then. I tried so hard to deny it and for the longest time I did, but something happened, I met someone and I couldn't deny it anymore. I hated him for that and I hated myself. I didn't want to be like that I…Drinking helped me forget for a while, but pretty soon it wasn't enough and... Well, you know how it all ended. I was a mess Shawn, physically and emotionally, I was killing myself and I didn't care. I don't know what changed. One day I just woke up and decided I couldn't do it anymore, so I got help. It hasn't been easy for me, but I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm happy. I like who and what I am now, I'm not ashamed anymore."

"I don't know what to say." Shawn said softly, still somewhat shell-shocked by Marty's revelation.

"You don't have to say anything. Nothing's changed, except I'm not acting like a jerk anymore. I'm still the same old Marty I was before." Unconsciously, he reached out a hand an placed it on Shawn's arm but the blond jerked back as if he had been burnt, the sudden realisation that the man he had loved for all these years was also gay, terrifying him. It had been hard enough to keep from kissing him when he'd thought he was straight, now it would be damn near impossible.

Seeing Shawn's actions as a rejection, Marty felt his heart break in two. He hadn't expected Shawn to jump into his arms and profess his undying love, realistically he knew that was too much to ask, but he'd never imagined that he would recoil from him in disgust. He had hoped that Shawn would at least be able to accept him and his lifestyle so that they could begin to rebuild their friendship.

"Shit." He withdrew his hand completely and slid off the table, shoving his hand into his jeans pocket. "I'm sorry Shawn, I shouldn't have said anything. I'll just go."

He turned to leave and Shawn frowned, not understanding what Marty was talking about, then he realised how his actions must've looked and was wracked with guilt.

"No!" He called, reaching out his own hand to stop him leaving. Marty couldn't go, not now, Shawn couldn't take loosing him again. "Please don't leave. I didn't mean…" He took a deep breath to help him remain calm, telling himself he had no reason to hide now. "I'm gay too."

The brunette, turned back, a look of total shock on his handsome face.

"You're what?" He asked.

"I'm gay."

"Since when?"

"Since…forever. I never made a secret of it. I was always open. At least, I thought I was."

Marty half smiled, and embarrassed, looked down at his feet.

"You probably were. I just wasn't looking back then. Didn't WANT to see it I guess."

"Maybe. Or maybe, subconsciously, I WAS hiding, so my straight best friend wouldn't find out how badly I wanted to get in his pants." Tilting his head to one side, Shawn stretched up a little, and without saying a word, pressed his lips tentatively against Marty's.

Too shocked to even think about responding, Marty remained motionless and Shawn pulled back, dejected.

"Idiot." He mumbled under his breath, cursing himself for his stupidity. Then, to Marty. "You're not interested, that's okay, just because you're gay doesn't mean…Shit! I'm sorry. I've wanted to do that for such a long time, I just couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

This time, it was Marty who initiated the kiss, and this time, though still a little nervous and still chaste, it was harder. Shawn was no more responsive than Marty had been but Marty wasn't as worried as he would have been had Shawn not kissed him first.

The two men stared at one another through half lidded eyes before diving back in to another kiss. Lips met, breath mingled, tongues slid sensuously against each other. One of them, maybe both, neither was quite sure, moaned.

Hands roamed bodies, pulling and tearing at clothes, desperate to feel flesh on flesh. Shawn tipped his head back, exposing his throat and Marty's mouth moved down, latching onto a small patch of skin, nibbling and sucking lightly at it.

A Voice in his head screamed at him that he was making a huge mistake, that he was just setting himself up to get hurt. Shawn didn't love him. He wanted him, that much was obvious, but he didn't love him. Marty ignored the voice. He'd been wanting this for so long and Shawn tasted so good, that there was no way he could stop now.

The blond moaned softly, tangling his fingers in his older friends hair.

"Marty." He whispered. "Marty I…Mmmm yeah."

The brunettes hands were busy at the waistband of his tights, pulling at them, trying to get them down. Shawn lifted his hips to aid him and seconds later they, along with his jockey's, were being dragged over his feet, his boots having apparently been removed earlier, while he was out of it.

Now naked, Shawn set about the task of removing what remained of Marty's clothes. His shirt was hanging from his wrists, a swift tug and it was off. His jeans were already undone and riding low on his hips, giving Shawn a tantalising glimpse of what lay beneath, so it didn't take long before they were puddled around his ankles, along with his black boxers. Marty toed off his sneakers and kicked his clothes to one side, then stood before Shawn, naked and waiting.

Shawn eyed his nude form appreciatively, his gaze dropping to the other man's prominent erection. Damn! Marty was hung like a horse. He licked his lips and gave a low wolf whistle which sent a shiver right down Marty's spine.

"Very impressive."

"You like?"

"Oh yeah. I like a lot."

"It's all for you baby."

Marty's voice was deep and husky and hearing his friend call him baby, just made Shawn tremble with desire. With a shaky hand, he reached out and cupped Marty's balls, giving them a gentle squeeze before slowly drawing a fingertip along the underside of his throbbing cock.

While Marty wasn't exactly a virgin, his experiences with men since coming to terms with his sexuality were, not surprisingly, limited, in the back of his mind Shawn had always been there, preventing him from going too far, and now that he was finally here, with the man he'd loved for what seemed like ever, it was almost too much.

Shawn's fleeting touch had him gasping and close to cumming already and though he didn't want to embarrass himself by shooting his load so quickly, he doubted there was much he could do to prevent it. He bit down hard on his bottom lip in an attempt to retain some semblance of control.

"I always wondered what it would be like to touch you like this." Shawn said, his own voice sounding unusually hoarse. He wrapped his long slender fingers around the other man's steely length and started to pump lightly.

"Oh God!" Marty groaned, and Shawn continued.

"To feel you, hot and hard and throbbing in my hand. Christ Marty, you feel so good." He quickened his pace then, stroking the heated flesh up and down and Marty had to grip the edge of the table to keep from falling when his knee's buckled.

"I…I…Oh God. Shawn stop, please, I'm…I'm not gonna last much longer I…Ohhhhh!"

"Do it. Cum for me Marty, let it go. I wanna see how hot you look when you cum."

"Jesus Shawn I…AARRGGHH!!" That was it. Shawn's words pushed him over the edge and he exploded into the younger man's hand, his orgasm hitting him harder and faster than ever before. Shawn watched, wide eyed as jet's of thick, sticky cum shot from the end of Marty's dick, and coated his hand. Some of it splashed onto his chest and a single drop landed at the corner of his mouth.

"Always wondered what you tasted like too." He said, sticking his tongue out to lick it up. "Mmmmm, yummy." With that, he brought his hand up to his mouth and proceeded to lick it clean, savouring every drop of the precious white fluid.

By the time he was done, Marty was panting heavily, his spent cock was already starting to thicken once again and he was desperate for more of Shawn.

He pushed the blond roughly back onto the table and climbed on top of him, covering his mouth with his own, slipping his tongue inside and tasting himself there. Tasting his own cum was a new experience for Marty and the eroticism of it had him rock hard again, instantly.

Shawn whimpered and writhed beneath him, clawing at his back and buttocks like a wild animal as he ground his hardness against his.

"Want you." He rasped, tearing his lips away from the other man's. "Want you now. Please."

"Want you too." Marty pulled back slightly so he could look into his friends eyes. "Top or bottom?"

Shawn thought for a moment. In truth, he didn't really have a preference, he usually took his lead from his partner but this time it was different. As much as the idea of making love to Marty turned him on, he really needed to feel Marty inside him. He needed to be filled, to be owned, he just didn't know how to ask for it so instead he answered…

"Either way is fine. I'm versatile."

"In that case, I really wanna be inside you. Is that okay?"

"Yes. Oh God yes." They indulged in another, hot, wet kiss, Marty's tongue probing every corner of Shawn's mouth, licking at every surface, sucking on his tongue until Shawn couldn't stand it any longer. "Marty, Please."

"I need lube."

"No lube. Don't usually fuck in the locker room." He hissed, frustrated. There had to be something they could use, something that wouldn't require him having to let go of Marty. "Spit." He said. "Just spit. I'll be okay."

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure. Please. Do it. I need you."

Unable to resist Shawn's needy plea, Marty swirled his tongue around in his mouth for a few seconds before hawking up a wad of saliva into the palm of his hand and lubing himself with it. That done, he took hold of Shawn's ankles, placing them over his shoulder and positioned himself at Shawn's entrance.

One final look into the blonds passion glazed eyes and he knew Shawn was ready. Oh so slowly, he began to press forward until he felt the tight ring of muscle give and he was inside.

Shawn bit back his cry of pain, but Marty knew he was hurting and stayed still, waiting for him to adjust. It was agony, he wanted nothing more than to plunge his hard cock deep into Shawn's body and fuck him hard enough to make up for all the lost years, but he also wanted to hear Shawn beg and that required patience.

After a few moments, Shawn began to push back and he whispered…

"More." With one long, steady, push, Marty was all the way in. The feeling was unbelievable and both men gasped.

"Jesus Shawn, you're so fucking tight. You feel so good." He withdrew a little, so that just the head of his cock was still inside Shawn's hole, then thrust forward, hard, hitting his prostate full on.

"Fuck! Yeah. That's it, oh God that feels good." The brunette, repeated the action and Shawn screamed…"Harder. Fuck me harder." Marty obliged.

Soon, the two had set up a frantic pace. Marty thrust hard into the other man's body, over and over, his aim perfect every time, and Shawn met each thrust with one of his own. Both men panted and moaned as flesh slapped against flesh and when Marty slipped his hands underneath him and pulled him close, crushing his aching cock between their stomachs, Shawn couldn't help but cry out at the delicious friction it created.

"Marty. Marty, I'm gonna…ooohhh yeah. I'm cumming, I…AARRGGHH!!"

Marty lifted his head and pulled back, as best as he could while still holding on to Shawn. He was sure this night would be all he'd ever have of the other man, and he wanted to be looking into his eyes when he came, he wanted that memory.

The blond stiffened, every muscle in his body tensed and his breathing became shallow as he rushed, headlong into a powerful climax. His head tipped back, his mouth hung open, his pupils dilated and the steel grey colour of his eyes seemed to darken even further, if that were possible. He looked beautiful, so damned beautiful that Marty couldn't help but tear up and he had to close his eyes before he started to cry. Seconds later, he succumbed to his second orgasm of the evening, the feeling of the other man's anal muscles spasming and contracting around him, dragging it from him forcibly.

"Shawn." He breathed as he came. "Shawn I…" //I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.// Silently, he repeated the words over and over to himself, wanting desperately to be able to say them out loud to his friend but knowing that Shawn would not want to hear them.

Shawn was suffering a similar emotional crisis, as he came down from the high, that being with Marty had given him. With Marty still inside him, he fought back tears, holding the other man tightly against his chest, until he could confidently speak without blurting out his true feelings.

It seemed like a lifetime before the two men finally separated, neither really ready to lose the connection they had, but understanding that it couldn't last, and they both groaned loudly as Marty eased his spent, but still erect penis from Shawn's hole.

He opened his mouth to speak, without really knowing what he was going to say, but that turned out to be a moot point anyway, because Shawn placed a finger over his slightly parted lips and said…

"Ssshhh. Don't spoil it."

Marty frowned. Did Shawn know? Had he thought that he was going to make some sort of a love declaration, was that why he'd hushed him? Damn! That little voice that had told him earlier, he was going to get hurt, had been right.

"We should get dressed before someone finds us." He said, climbing off the table and gathering up his discarded clothes. Shawn watched him dress, with a mixture of utter misery and blessed relief. He was convinced the other man knew how he felt, he had to have seen it in his eyes, Marty had certainly given him a strange look just before they'd… It hurt, more than any injury he'd suffered in the ring, to know that Marty felt nothing for him, but to hear him actually say the words, to hear him say 'Thanks for the great fuck Shawn. I'll see you around.' That would kill him.

"Yeah." He answered sadly, hopping off the table himself and scrabbling in his bag for his sweats.

They dressed in silence. Two men in love, terrified that the feeling was not returned, each trying to convince the other that what they had shared was just sex, and succeeding, unwittingly driving an even bigger wedge between them both.

Finally, they were both ready to go. Shawn couldn't believe that Marty was just going to walk out on him again, couldn't believe that he was going to let him. //Chicken shit.//

"So. Are you back for good, or was tonight just a one off?" He asked, wanting to postpone Marty's leaving for a little longer.

"I'm not sure yet. It depends."

"On what?"

Marty wanted to say 'You', but he didn't. Instead he answered…

"Vince wants to see what the fans reaction is before he makes any decisions."

"Oh." Another loaded silence. Marty wondered if that was what Shawn had really meant, or if he'd been talking about them, then dismissed that idea as being too much to hope for. Shawn on the other hand, wondered, would Marty stay, if he asked him to, just as a friend, but didn't have the nerve to ask for fear the answer would be no. "Well, for what it's worth, I hope he decides to keep you around."

Hope flared in Marty for a moment, then fizzled out. Of course Shawn would say that. They were supposed to be friends weren't they?

"Me too." He answered, then made a swift exit before he was tempted to make an even bigger idiot of himself than he already had.

* * *

Shawn stared hard at the bottle in his hand. He kind of thought that by drinking from it, he would be betraying Marty, now that he was sober, but shit! Wasn't Marty the reason he needed a drink in the first place?

Slowly, he raised the bottle to his lips and took a sip. Whisky, he hated the stuff at the best of times, and tonight, it tasted even more sour than usual.

Miserably, he hurled the glass across the room, watching the dark liquid trickle down the wall where it impacted, then threw him self down on the bed and began to sob.

What the Hell had he been thinking letting Marty fuck him like that? How could he have been so stupid? He'd loved Marty so much back then, even when he was drinking, and trying to keep that from him had been tough. So many times he'd almost told him, but hadn't in case it drove him away, and in the end, he'd lost him anyway. At the time, Shawn had felt like his world was ending, it had taken him years to get over the other man and tonight, after just one look, he was right back where he'd started, only this time it was worse because Marty was gay too, and Shawn had finally gotten a taste of what it might be like to have Marty love him back and he didn't know if he could live without it now.

"Dammit Marty. Why'd ya have to come back. Why couldn't you have stayed a memory."

For hours, it seemed, he just lay there. At some point he'd cried himself into a fitful sleep and it wasn't until a commotion began, outside the door that he was woken.

Since he and Kev were supposed to be sharing a room, he figured it was probably him, and sat up, rubbing his hand roughly across his face, hoping to disguise the fact that he'd been crying. He heard the key turn in the lock and a woman giggle. A few seconds later, the door swung open and in stumbled a partially inebriated Kevin, practically wearing a completely inebriated Trish.

As soon as he saw Shawn, Kev dropped the young blonde woman at his feet, and frowned.

"Shawn." He said, not sounding nearly as drunk as he looked. He turned to Trish, who was scrabbling to her feet and looking ever so slightly miffed at having been so unceremoniously dumped. "Trish Honey. You and me are gonna have to finish this up another night." Trish pouted. "I have to talk to Shawn about something."

"No. Kev, really, I'm okay." He climbed off the bed, and started to hunt for a shoe. "I was just going out anyways."

"No you weren't." Kevin gave him a stare and he obediently sat back down. The bigger man whispered something in his date's ear and gave her a lingering kiss on the mouth.

"Keeevvv!" She whined, running her hands across his chest and down to his crotch, which she squeezed playfully. "You promised, and I have all that…"

"Oh hush woman. There's plenty of Big Sexy to go around. Go, I'll be over later."

Shawn rolled his eyes at Kevin's use of his in ring nickname, wondering just what it was that the women all found so irresistible about the big doofus.

"You'd better be." Trish warned, then turned to leave, waving her fanny at Kev on the way out, the big man's gaze following every swish of her hips until she was out of sight.

Once she was gone, he joined Shawn on the bed.

"I kinda expected you and Marty to be out, raising some hell and reminiscing about the bad ole days. Things didn't go so well huh?"

"Actually, things went great, at first. We talked, got a lotta shit out in the open. He said he was sorry for how he acted back then. He's sober now, did you know that? And clean."

"So how comes you look like your dog just died?"

Shawn bit his lip nervously. Kev knew how he felt about Marty and was bound to have an opinion on what had happened. Somehow, when Kevin voiced his opinions, Shawn always felt like a little kid being reprimanded.

"I'm not telling you. I'm still mad at you for keeping secrets."

"Suit yourself." He made to get up but the smaller man grabbed his arm in a panic and stopped him. He WAS still mad about Kevin's part in the conspiracy, but he really needed to talk to someone other than himself, and Kev was his best friend. Had been ever since…ever since Marty left.

"NO! Don't go. People always leave me, I'm tired of it."

"Shawn, what happened?"

"I…We had sex." Came the smaller man's mumbled response.

"YOU WHAT?" The big man practically screamed.

"You heard me. We had sex. I let him fuck me and I…"

"But Marty isn't gay."

"Gee Kev. Maybe you should go tell him that before he makes the mistake again, coz it sure felt like he was when he had his dick up my ass."

"Okay, that's just a little more information that I wanted to know."

"Sorry."

"You and him really…" Shawn nodded. "Damn! So does that have anything to do with why he drank? Shawn nodded again.

"He couldn't handle being gay, he was ashamed so he…" He trailed off, not needing to elaborate. "He deals just fine now though." A small choked sob found it's way into his voice but somehow he managed to keep from bursting into tears, knowing it would make the other man uncomfortable.

"So, what's the problem? I though that's what you wanted."

"I did. But you notice I said we had sex, not we made love."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. It's been almost ten years. I thought I was over him, I mean, I've had other guys since then, but I guess I was wrong. I love him Kev." The sob was back, and a little stronger but still Shawn refused to cry. "I love him more than anything in the world, and being with him like that was better than I ever dreamed it would be. It was so good, so right, I…"

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

The blond shook his head sadly.

"I couldn't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he doesn't love me. I was just, I don't know, something he had to get out of his system or something."

"He tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. The fact that he couldn't get away from me quick enough once it was over kind of said it for him."

Kevin sighed. He really didn't know Marty that well but there had to be something decent about the guy. He honestly didn't think Shawn could have fallen so hard for him if he was really that heartless.

"Talk to him Shawn." He said softly, hoping his friend would take his advice. "Tell him how you feel." Shawn looked up at him, horrified.

"No. I can't. I only just got him back, I can't risk loosing him again."

"What if he's thinking the exact same thing as you? What if he's just scared?"

Shawn thought for a moment then answered.

"And what if he's not? I can't do it Kev, I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help, I just can't."

"Then you'll never know what might've been. Think about it Shawnie." He got to his feet then, slapping the smaller man hard on the shoulder. "Look. I gotta go. I've got a hot woman a few doors down, waiting for me to cool her down."

The younger man smilled half heartedly and told his friend to have fun, which Kevin assured him he would, and watched him leave.

Alone with his thoughts, he mulled over what Kev had said.

What if Marty was just as scared as he was? What if he was waiting for HIM to make the first move? It was possible. The question was, did Shawn have the guts to go and find out?

* * *

When Marty left the arena, and Shawn, he went straight to Ric. He'd known Ric for years and next to Shawn, he'd probably been his best friend back then. Ric had helped him to surprise Shawn, and while he hadn't been entirely honest about his motives, he was pretty sure that the older man would at least hear him out when he came clean.

He found Ric in the hotel restaurant, trying, without much luck, to scare up some supper from the kitchen staff who were halfway through their nightly clean up.

"Don't you ever stop eating." He asked, chuckling softly and shaking his head at the same time.

Ric turned round.

"Gotta top up the old energy reserves. Being me is much harder work that it used to be you know." He said, with a broad grin. Apparently giving up on the supper idea, he started weaving his way through the tables to where Marty stood. "So what brings you down here at this hour? I thought you and Shawn'd be catching up. Was he really that mad?"

"Nah. He was cool. We talked about a lot of stuff. I told him I was clean and sober and he was happy for me. Did you know he blames himself for my drinking?"

"Yeah, I know. He used to tell me he thought he should've been a better friend. Look, maybe we should sit down." He took down two chairs from a nearby table top and waited for Marty to sit down, before sitting himself. "So come on, tell me all about it."

Marty took a deep breath, and then started to speak.

"The thing is, Ric, in a way, it WAS his fault. I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean, he didn't put the bottle in my hand and force me to drink but…" He paused, not quite sure how to continue. "I drank because I couldn't deal with…with the fact that I had fallen in love with him.

Looking over at the other man, Marty saw that he didn't seem to be at all shocked by his revelation, and the truth was, he wasn't. He'd met a lot of people during his forty years in the business, made a lot of good friends, many of whom, were gay. Some, like Shawn, were very open, others weren't but Ric had learned to read the signs, so although, he hadn't really given much thought to Marty's sexuality, he wasn't the least bit surprised.

"You didn't know Shawn was into guys too?" Marty shook his head, dragging his fingers through his long brown hair and sighing loudly.

"It wouldn't have made much difference though. I was in denial, bigtime. It's taken me all this time to finally admit it to myself."

"You still in love with him?"

He nodded sadly.

"Didn't know it till I saw him again. Thought I'd be over him by now but I'm not. I love him so damned much Ric, it hurts."

"I'm guessin', since you're here with me, and not with him makin' up for lost time, that you either told him and he wasn't interested." Like Kev, Ric was also knew how Shawn had felt about his tag team partner back then, and though he knew it was possible that over the years those feelings had changed, he didn't think that was the case. That left only one option. "Or…"

"I didn't tell him. I wanted to, so bad, but I couldn't. If I did and he didn't feel the same I…I don't think I could take that. We just started to get our friendship back on track. I can't take the risk of telling him and loosing him for good."

Ric sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, running his fingers through his thick white hair. He figured Shawn was probably just as miserable as Marty was right now and he wished there was something he could do to help his younger friends, but he couldn't tell Marty what he knew. It wasn't his place and he didn't know for certain that Shawn still felt the same.

"You want my advice?" He asked. The younger man nodded, yes. "Go talk to him, tell him how you feel. Shawn's a good guy and I know he loves you even if it's not the way you want him to. He won't let this get in the way of your friendship." Marty didn't look convinced. "Besides, if you don't, you'll drive yourself nuts trying to hide it and you'll end up back on the bottle. No one wants that."

"I don't know Ric."

"Look. I can't make you talk to him. Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?"

"Okay, I'll think about it."

"Good." Ric got to his feet then, dragging Marty up too and flung an arm around his shoulder. "Now, what say you and me see if we can't find an all night pizza delivery place, coz I'm starving."

* * *

The following night, after the pay-per-view, was Raw, and Marty was scheduled for a match against Ric. Not being able to stand the thought of seeing Marty lose, or get hurt, or whatever the two of them had planned, Shawn opted NOT to be at ringside for the event.

However, once, backstage, he'd decided he couldn't, not watch at all, so he'd found one of those TV trolleys, wheeled it into the locker room and watched from there.

His former tag team partner, was really on top of his game, Shawn observed, wrestling the independents had obviously been good for him. He and Ric worked together brilliantly, feeding of each other and the crowd, who Shawn was pleased to see cheered up a storm at every move the brunette made. It was almost as if he had never been away.

And damn if he didn't look real good in his tights too. Shawn had forgotten how hard, watching Marty wrestle always used to get him, but by the time the match was over, Marty picked up the win after delivering his old trademark move "The Showstopper", he was as hard as a rock and all of the old memories came flooding back.

Once Marty had managed to get through the crowds, and back to the locker room, Shawn was in near agony, he was so hard, and the memories of the previous nights events in the very same locker room weren't exactly helping.

"God Damn! That felt good." the older man enthused, as he burst through the locker room door, and Shawn couldn't help but smile. It was good to see Marty happy again, he just wished it could've been him that had made him happy.

"It looked real good too."

"You were watching?"

Shawn nodded towards the television set, that was currently showing commercials, and said…

"Wouldn't of missed it for the world. Just couldn't be ringside, I…I'd've wanted to interfere every time he hurt you or something." He looked down at his feet as his cheeks flushed, hoping that the other man wouldn't notice. God he was such a sap.

"You really think I looked good out there?" Marty asked hopefully. Ric had already congratulated him on a great match but Shawn's opinion meant everything to him. Truthfully though, he was hoping that the blond was referring to more than just his wrestling skills, when he'd said he looked good. He hadn't been able to get the memories of last night out of his head all damn day, and had been jerking off every spare moment he had, not that you'd know from the strength of the erection that was once again beginning to form inside his tights.

Shawn looked so good, sitting there in his tight jeans and "Anything is possible" t-shirt, both his hands holding his left foot in place atop his right knee, that Marty just wanted to march right on over and kiss him stupid. He turned away, and began to search his bag for his shower gear, at least that was the pretence.

"Yeah, I really do." Actually Shawn WAS thinking about more than just his friends wrestling skills, but since he didn't have a clue that that's what Marty wanted, he fought the urge to tell him so. "And so did the fans. Did you hear 'em Marty? They loved you. Vince'd be a fool not to give you a full time contract after tonight."

Finding what he was looking for and unable to pretend any more, Marty stood up. When he turned back, he saw that Shawn too was now on his feet.

"Thanks." He said simply. "That means a lot to me."

The younger man, nodded okay and for a few seconds they were both silent, each trying to think of something to say that would relieve the tension. Shawn wondered if Marty regretted what they had done the night before, and assumed from the awkwardness of the moment, that he did. Wanting to save face himself, he decided to pretend like nothing had happened and just concentrate on trying to get the friendship back.

"So, I was wondering, when you're done here, do you wanna maybe go out for a pizza or something?" He asked, moving to stand beside his friend.

//Oh. The old, pretend nothing happened, routine.// Well, if that's how Shawn wanted to play it, he could go along with that. He'd do anything for Shawn, and besides, it was easier than the painful conversation they could be having.

"Yeah. I'd like that." Anything, even that, was better than not being near him at all.

"Good. I'll go tell Kev that he and Trish can use our room tonight."

Marty's eyes widened.

"Kev and Trish? The little blonde thing with the big…" He held his hands up to his chest and cupped a rather large set of imaginary breasts which made Shawn laugh out loud.

"That's the one."

"And she seemed like such a nice girl too."

For an all too brief time, the two men were able to exist, unhindered by the complications of their feelings for one another as they shared a joke at their friends expense. Shawn told Marty that Kev and Trish had been fucking like bunnies, Kev's words, not his, for about three months, and almost immediately wished he hadn't, for the thought of anyone fucking, only made him think of Marty and how good it had bee with him last night. The memory invoking in him, equal parts arousal and heartache.

Marty, though Shawn couldn't know it, was having the same thoughts. He wanted Shawn. God he wanted him so bad. They could be friends and still have sex couldn't they? Being gay in this business meant it was hard to find a partner who was discreet, they'd be helping each other out, Shawn didn't have to know that it meant more than that to him.

Nervously, the brunette leant forward and pressed a soft kiss against the other mans lips, his eyes searching the blonds face for a sign that he wanted him to stop but finding none.

He slipped his arms around Shawn's waist, and pulled him close so their bodies were touching, feeling Shawn's hardness against his own and loving it. They stumbled to the nearest wall, not breaking their kiss until Shawn, panting and moaning, was being pressed firmly into it.

"Marty." The barely audible whisper came, when they finally broke for air. "Please."

"Please what?"

"Please, touch me." Never, in his life, had he ever wanted anything as much as he wanted Marty to touch him right then. It was wrong, he knew it, Marty would surely run out on him again just as he had last night, leaving him feeling used and dirty and alone, but right now, he didn't care. He needed the other man's touch like he needed air to breathe.

Marty, didn't speak, he was too caught up in the feel of Shawn's body, the taste of his mouth, the sound of his voice, to even think about speech. His eager hands found the buckle of the other mans belt and began to work it open, tugging it through the loops and throwing it to one side before ripping open the button fly and slipping his hand inside.

Shawn groaned loudly as Marty's fingers curled around his straining shaft, his hips involuntarily bucking up into the older mans fist.. It felt so good, and he needed this so bad.

"You like me touching you like this?" Marty asked, brushing a thumb over Shawn's weeping tip, his voice hoarse and throaty.

"Mmmm, yeah, I like it." The hand on his dick began to move faster, Marty's mouth was at his collar bone, kissing him, licking at the heated flesh and another hand began pushing at his t-shirt, lightly caressing his chest as it moved the garment out of its way. When the second hand found a nipple and began tugging at it, it was all Shawn could do to remain upright. "Oh fuck! Marty, I'm gonna cum, I can't hold on, I…Oh God!"

With his head swimming, and no longer in control of his own body, Shawn began to buck wildly, fucking Marty's hand as if his life depended upon it.

Marty's own cock, neglected as it currently was, began to throb painfully, the knowledge that he could make Shawn cum, this quickly just with his hands, affecting him deeply.

"Yeah, cum for me baby, cum for me like I did for you."

At that point, all coherent thought deserted the younger man. His balls tightened, his cock jerked, and he succumbed to the sensations that had been building in him, filling Marty's hand with his seed. The intensity of his orgasm overwhelmed him and as he came, he began to babble, a string of breathy pleas and sexual obscenities, tumbled from his lips, most of them unintelligible.

Amongst all the gibberish however, four words could be heard crystal clear. Four words the brunette was sure Shawn didn't even realise he'd said, but were the words he had been longing to hear for twelve long years…

"I love you Marty."

Marty thought for a second, that he'd died and gone to Heaven, but his insecurities soon kicked in and he told himself that what he'd heard was just orgasm induced ramblings. //They always say they love you when they cum.//

Pushing that thought aside, Marty continued to pump the other man's member until he was certain that every drop of cum had been spilled, then he removed his sticky hand from the other man's pants, bringing it up to his face and, mirroring Shawn's actions of the previous night, licked it clean.

As soon as he took his first taste, Marty felt a familiar tingling in his balls and he knew he was about to cum himself. Twining his fingers through Shawn's, he brought the other man's hand to his crotch so he could feel how aroused he was. That light touch was all it took to push Marty over the edge and with Shawn's name on his lips, he released his load into his tights.

The two men collapsed against one another, their bodies trembling, their breath coming in short gasps, each clinging tightly to the other, wanting to make the moment last in case it was their last.

After what seemed like an eternity, Marty finally spoke, not wanting to break the spell, but needing to know how Shawn felt. He had said the words, whether or not he had meant them Marty hadn't a clue but he knew that now he had heard them, once he couldn't keep pretending that all he wanted from the other man was sex. It was all or nothing. If he couldn't have Shawn's love then he had to make a clean break, as painful as that would be. Ric had been right, if he wasn't careful, this was going to send him straight back into a bottle.

"Shawn." He said softly, drawing back so he could see the other man's face. "I need to ask you something. I need to know if…" A wave of panic swept over Shawn then. He knew what he'd said, he'd tried so hard not to and had bitten his lip bloody in his effort to stay silent but he hadn't been able to keep the words from spilling out of his mouth. He'd been babbling, he'd hoped that was all Marty had noticed, that he'd been too caught up in the moment to register the words but that hope had been lost. "When you were…just before you…you said, you said you…loved me." He averted his gaze, afraid of seeing the answer in Shawn's eyes without even having to ask. "Did you mean it?"

The blond remained silent. Hell yes he meant it, with every fibre of his being. He always had and always would love Marty, more even than his own life but if Marty knew that, he would end what they had. He would apologise for leading him on, say he never meant for Shawn to get hurt but he didn't feel the same and it would be better if they stopped seeing each other. Shawn knew he couldn't take that. He'd rather have Marty this way, than not have him at all.

"Please don't ask me that." He begged, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"Shawn, I HAVE to know." His desperation was evident in his voice, and he was fighting hard to keep tears at bay. "Please tell me. Did you mean it, when you said you loved me?"

"I…" Damn! Shawn had no choice now but to admit the truth. Keeping his feelings a secret was one thing, but he could not, would not lie . "Yeah." He answered miserably. "I meant it. I know you don't want to hear it, and if you hadn't asked, I never would have told you but I can't help it. Please don't…" He was about to beg Marty to stay, tell him he could handle the feeling not being returned just so long as he could still be near him, when Marty said…

"I love you too."

"What?"

"I love you. I've loved you for twelve years. I was too scared to be with a man back then, too scared to even admit that I wanted to but it didn't change the fact that I did. I couldn't be around you without wondering what it would be like and I hated you for being straight and I hated you for making me want you and yet, I loved you so damn much it hurt and it made me crazy. I thought I was over you, I thought after all this time the feelings would be gone, but they're not. I knew the minute I saw you again that I still loved you, I just couldn't tell you because I didn't think you would ever be able to feel the same way but…" He stopped babbling then and looked into Shawn's eyes, surprised to see them brimming with tears. "Shawn, what's wrong?"

"I was so scared that you'd leave again if you knew and it hurt so much the first time, I couldn't take it if you left again."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. If I'd known…" He was choked with emotion, he hated that he had caused his lover pain, albeit unwittingly and vowed silently to never hurt him again. A single tear rolled down his cheek, followed by another, and another.

"Ssshhh." He said softly, brushing the pad of his thumb over the other mans cheek. "It's okay. I'm right here. Don't cry."

"God Shawn, I love you so much."

"I love you too."

The two men shared a slow, languid, sensual kiss, one that expressed the depth of the feelings they had for one another more perfectly than any words ever could. Marty, teased the blonds lips with his own, licking delicately at the seam until they parted for him, then gently pushing his tongue inside. Shawn opened his mouth to welcome the intruder, sighing happily as Marty's tongue swept over the roof of his mouth.

The brunette also sighed, moaning softly as the other man traced light patterns on his bare skin with his fingertips. He felt himself begin to harden once more, Shawn's touch arousing him beyond belief, but this time he was in no rush to do anything about it, he had the rest of his life to make love to Shawn.

Shawn was his now, and would be forever, he was never going to let the blonde out of his arms ever again. He chuckled softly to himself, wondering how the scriptwriters would handle that.

"What are you laughing about?" The younger man asked, smiling himself, his lovers obvious happiness being contagious and in a strange way, also comforting.

"I was just wondering how Vince is gonna work us being joined at the lips into the storyline, coz now I finally got you, I'm never letting you go."

Shawn's smile grew wider, love and contentment radiating from every pore and Marty didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight. The fact that it was so clearly him, that had made the blond that happy making it all the more beautiful.

"Joined at the lips. I like that idea." He fluttered his eyelashes playfully, and pulled Marty in for another, more demanding kiss. A kiss that left both men rock hard and panting.

"I wanna make love to you Shawn. I wanna take my time with you, explore every inch of that magnificent body, touch you, and kiss you, and lick you and suck you until you're begging for more."

Shawn's eyes were wide with desire.

"I want that too." He answered breathlessly, ready to pull his lover in for yet another searing kiss but at that exact moment, the door creaked open a little way and a head full of white hair popped through the gap.

"Hey Guys." The two men groaned. "Not interrupting anything am I?"

Marty cast his lover a predatory stare that made him shiver with arousal.

"Nothing that can't wait until I have Shawn alone and naked in my hotel room."

"Good." He stepped fully inside, closing the door with a click. "Coz I really need to…Alone and naked? So I take it you two finally told each other then huh? Ric's face erupted into a dirty great big, shit eating grin. "I'm real glad things worked out for you both. Kev said he heard moaning and stuff but I didn't believe him. Did you know he's been standing guard outside for twenty minutes to make sure no one disturbed you in here?"

Their mouths dropped open in shock. It hadn't even occurred to them that other people would want to use the locker room. They had been so lost in their own little world, in each other, that anybody could've walked in and found them, but somehow, neither man could bring himself to care. They both knew that in their business, 'coming out' wasn't exactly practical but they would have declared it to the world, if they could have.

Ric opened the door, poked his head out, and called out…

"Hey Kev! You can come in now, they're done. Looks like you and me are roomies tonight though."

A gruff voice somewhere on the other side of the door answered…

"Oh no. Trish and me have plans tonight, you go find someone else to bother." Kevin was now also standing inside the locker room, wearing the same stupid grin that Ric was. "Congratulations guys. I knew everything would be okay if you talked to each other."

"Yeah, you did, thanks Kev." Marty figured that Shawn must have talked with Kev last night, just as he had with Ric, and was glad they had such good friends. "But I will be forced to kick your decrepit old ass if you say 'I told you so' even once."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

The sounds of raucous laughter filled the small locker room, but after a few minutes, the two lovers reluctantly disentangled themselves, knowing that they needed to vacate the locker room before the rest of the guys rioted or something.

"We should probably go." Shawn said. Marty agreed. The sooner they got going the sooner they could get to the alone and naked part.

Kevin and Ric dressed quickly, slipping their sweats over the top of their wrestling gear, as did Marty, then they all grabbed their bags and headed towards the door.

Shawn and Marty were hand in hand as they left the arena, and blissfully happy.

Ric watched his two friends laugh, and kiss and make googoo eyes at one another and couldn't help but be insanely happy for them both. He couldn't explain why, but in the back of his mind he'd always thought the two of them belonged together. It had been a long time coming, but finally, they'd proved him right.

 

End


End file.
